I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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