Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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