Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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