it's like iHOP with fire
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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