do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize