At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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