Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize