This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
