Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
