On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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