was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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