She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
