is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
