yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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