i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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