chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
