u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
