If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
