so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
