I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
