I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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