The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
