My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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