I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
