i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
