sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
