just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
