So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
