He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
