My first STD was from a foam party
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
