so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
