We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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