i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
