i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize