Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize