So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
