Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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