Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
