my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
