There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
