i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
