So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize