I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
