The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Randomize
