wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
