The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize