32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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