in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
