Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
