I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
