ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
