Sponge bath it is.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize