No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
