He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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