The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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