do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
