her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
