I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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