When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize