Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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