is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
