That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
