He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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