The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
