u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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